Hello. Honored readers. Honored staff. And especially Dylan J. Roth, esteemed BB-8ditor of Deadshirt.net. I am Michael Duquette, Deadshirt staff writer, and I am writing because I made a mistake.
Earlier I ran a review of a new musical album and I said some rude things about BB-8, the lovable droid from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I had grown tired of Dylan’s mandate that Deadshirt content be increasingly devoted to BB-8, who, you may know, is a lovable new addition to the Star Wars universe. And I acted out.
Ultimately, I am prohibited from saying too much about the consequences of my actions. But suffice it to say that BB-8 is extremely fucking real and, it would appear, has greater pull over the international media landscape than I would have previously believed. This is an experience from which I hope to build and grow, much like BB-8 evolved from traditional astromech technology to something far more effective over variable terrain. Thank you, and BB-8.