Fox’s “Batman-without-Batman” soap opera is the most amazingly weird show on television. For every episode this season, Deadshirt’s own Sarah Register, Kayleigh Hearn and Max Robinson discuss the good, the bad…the beginning? of little Bruce Wayne, skinny Oswald Cobblepot, and Jim Gordon sans ‘stache as they try to find their way in the misery-soaked, work-a-day world of…GOTHAM.
Max: Telepathic dolphins! Duplicitous children! Monk-target gun violence! THIS IS THE MID-SEASON FINALE BABY!
EVEN GORDON IS TIRED OF COBBLEPOT AND NYGMA’S ROOMMATE SITUATION
Max: Gordon waking up and being super weirded out by Penguin and Nygma’s weird Step Brothers thing killed me.
Sarah: Nygma seems totally confident that being seen with Penguin by a cop will not at all lead to being exposed as a psychopath.
Kayleigh: Gordon does not ship Nygobblepot.
A DOLPHIN LOOKED AT YOU?
Max: There’s SO MUCH GOING ON in the scene where Silver is talking to Bruce in his St. Dumas jail cell. 1. Bruce is dressed like fucking Little Nemo. 2. Silver is like “Have you ever swam with a dolphin?” and Bruce is all “ No :(.” 3. They argue about whether Dolphins have like Gorilla Grodd powers??
Sarah: Loving all the creepy mind games these kids are playing.
Kayleigh: The “So what’s your favorite animal?” conversation was amazing because the only time these thirteen-year-olds act like real kids is when they’re waiting for Bruce to be ritually sacrificed by Silver’s creepy uncle.
Max: Man, this episode gave us my favorite Bruce moments of the show to date though. Bruce pretending to love/forgive Silver in front of Galavan in order to save her life, Bruce calling that one old monk “a deluded fool,” Bruce seemingly being at peace with death because it means he gets to see his parents.
Sarah: This was hands down Bruce’s best episode. I loved his dickish “I had a very vague contingency plan to escape” non-thank you to Alfred and Selina, who then got to share a moment mere episodes after The Slap.
A SERIES OF UNDIGNIFIED THINGS HAPPEN TO ALFRED
Sarah: Alfred’s dialogue in this episode could have been a continuous stream of British swear words and it would not have changed the story at all.
Max: “RABBIT RABBIT RABBIT” – literal angry Alfred dialogue.
Kayleigh: Lucius is just glad Alfred isn’t telling the kipper story again.
GUESS WHO’S HAVING A BABY (IT’S LEE)
Max: Not a swerve I was expecting! What if it’s just a food baby?
Sarah: I’m not totally convinced she’s pregnant. It could have just been a desperate card to play in order to keep Jim from going to the dark side. And the episode didn’t give her time to answer Jim’s proposal either.
Kayleigh: I think the show is just adjusting to Morena Baccarin and Ben McKenzie’s little impending bat-baby. Lying about a pregnancy seems like something Barbara would do, but not Lee. She seems so conflicted about her future with Jim (as you said, we don’t see her response to his proposal) that she might not stay with him if he wasn’t the father of her child. But how great was it when she shushed Penguin like he was a whiny puppy?
Sarah: Penguin’s charming, respectful attitude towards Lee shows that he’s adopted some of Don Falcone’s chivalry, which I totally dig.
Max: Penguin totally rocks that Dr. Doom thing of “Ah, but I am a gentleman.” I have no doubt he’d kill Lee if she ever got in his way, but he shows her respect because that’s what a “great man” would do.
IT’S TIME FOR A COPS N CROOKS OCEAN’S 11 HEIST TO SAVE BABY BRUCE
Max: Gordon being like “YEAH GRAB A VEST AND A GUN, KID” to Selina and letting her into the Gotham Magnificent 7 was so great. Also, Lucius Fox was basically just Perd Hapley in this episode.
Sarah: This episode might actually be my favorite thanks to the Gotham dream team – it was basically the Fast Five of the series. I hope Alfred at least brought Lucius a sandwich for the 6 episodes he spent in the secret basement working on that hard drive (which is now fixed, DUN DUN DUN).
THEO GALAVAN’S GETTIN’ UPSET!
Max: Frain playing Galavan as hyper-desperate once his plan falls apart was great. “Ah, come on, Jim I was just talking big!”
Kayleigh: I will miss James Frain’s brand of big-eared smarm.
TABITHA GALAVAN’S HOME FOR WAYWARD TEEN VILLAINS
Sarah: Tabitha owning her brother and then pushing Silver out a window bumped her up to one of my top five characters. Hopefully she’ll pick up Selena and Ivy along the way, and they’ll all live in a loft together and eat cereal straight out of the box.
Max: Tabitha hasn’t really gotten like much of an arc this season, so having her get fed up with Theo’s shit and peacing out with her niece was great. She’s smart enough to see the writing on the wall.
Kayleigh: Tabitha pushing Silver out the window may be my favorite out-of-context gif in Gotham history. But Tabitha’s relationship with her niece has been so unexplored this season that her choosing Silver over Theo doesn’t have the impact it should. I had been wondering if any of the Galavans were actually related at all, until they started talking about Silver’s Dumas blood. I’d be cool with Tabitha and Silver returning after the break, but also wouldn’t care that much if they parachuted themselves out of Gotham for good.
Max: We got 11 episodes with the Galavans and we still have like no clue what their DEAL is.
BULLOCK SHOT A MONK MID-AIR
Sarah: This was easily one of the most badass, batshit scenes in the entire season, and Donal Logue stole it effortlessly.
Max: The gag that Bullock was winded by the stairs so he could show up just in time to kill the main St. Dumas guy is why I love this dumb show.
Kayleigh: The monks lost because they brought knives to a gunfight.
Sarah: The Order of St. Dumas turned out to be a bunch of schmucks. Even Selina took down, like, five of them.
GORDON EXECUTED THEO GALAVAN WHILE PENGUIN WATCHED
Max: Man, like five insane things happen in the last ten minutes of this episode. Gordon full-on turning his back on law and order and killing Galavan is a helluva beat to go to break on, can’t wait to see where the character goes from here.
Sarah: Penguin will never not be in love with Jim now. Has there ever been a more special bond than MURDER?
Kayleigh: Birds of a feather kill evil mayors together! Penguin beating all the smarm out of Galavan with a baseball bat was strangely cathartic. Everything this season has been building towards Jim killing Galavan, and it’s still a jaw-dropper of a scene. The fall finale basically ends with Jim as a fugitive from the law, in cahoots with a crime boss–we can debate whether or not he was right to kill Galavan (I’ll side with Penguin’s reasoning here), but it’ll be interesting to see how Jim gets out of this mess.
Max: Also kinda interesting in that this parallels the end of the pilot episode, where Gordon had Penguin at his mercy by the docks and chose to spare him.
WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE
Max: SIKE GALAVAN’S GOING TO BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE BY WAYNE ENTERPRISES’ CREEPY SCIENCE DIVISION AND FISH MOONEY’S IN A FUCKING LUKE SKYWALKER HOTH TUBE. On any other show, I dunno if telling your audience that death is basically meaningless would work, but this is Gotham so it means we’re getting crazy superpowered Fish Mooney and Theo Galavan probably.
Sarah: LONG LIVE FISH MOONEY. I am so glad that she’s back, sort of, and probably with gills. Can’t wait for her long awaited reunion with Butch who will probably be motorized by then.
Max: Butch is going to have tank treads and like giant mechanical bat wings by Season 3.
Kayleigh: Fish Mooney was probably, alas, just an easter egg for now–but wow, I can’t wait to finally meet B.D. Wong’s Hugo Strange.
Sarah: Thank the heavens we get more James Frain, even if it’s as some godforsaken Azrael/Solomon Grundy hybrid. Also, since Galavan is literally dead (lol at the Penguin umbrella btw), does this mean that Hugo Strange is maybe messing with some Lazarus pit mojo?
Kayleigh: If we’re just straight up resurrecting dead villains at this point, you know who I miss? Jerome. Bring back that maniacal ginger circus peanut.
CAPTAIN COLD MR. FREEZE WHAT WHAT
Max: Mr. Freeze looked pretty decent! My theory is it’s a guy who stole Fries’ tech, but I guess we’ll find out in February.
Sarah: I thought for a second that our little Firefly was already back on the streets.
Kayleigh: A Mr. Freeze/Firefly fight would rule pretty fucking hard. BRING ON THE “ICE TO SEE YOU” PUNS, GOTHAM!
Max: SEE YOU IN 2016, GOTHAM!
Gotham airs Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern on FOX. AW C’MON GOTHAM returns in February 2016!