Aw C’mon Gotham: Season 3, Episode 7 “Red Queen”

Fox’s “Batman-without-Batman” soap opera is the most amazingly weird show on television. For every episode this season, Deadshirt’s own Sarah RegisterKayleigh Hearn and Max Robinson discuss the good, the bad…the beginning? of little Bruce Wayne, skinny Oswald Cobblepot, and Jim Gordon sans ‘stache as they try to find their way in the misery-soaked, work-a-day world of…GOTHAM.

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This week on Gotham: More of Mad Hatter’s bullshit, The Penguin/Riddler/Faux-Kringle love triangle gets weirder and Jim Gordon lies down for a while.

HEY SORRY I GOT YOU SHOT, VALERIE

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Max: The Status Quo: Gordon got dumped and his ex-fiance is also pissed at him. Our guy cannot catch a break.

Kayleigh: I hope the show has bigger plans for Valerie other than proving to Jim that he still loves Lee (because, duh). Asking the guy who got her shot to bring her whiskey after waking up from a coma is a badass move.

Sarah: She could easily be a key player in exposing Gotham’s Owl underbelly this season. We haven’t seen the last of this tough broad.

PENGUIN IS HEARTBROKEN BY THIS TURN OF EVENTS

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Max: I think at this point we all just want Oswald to be happy. As happy as a murderous sociopath thug can be, at least. 

Kayleigh: Oswald calling the police to look for Edward was strangely…sweet? It’s weird to see Penguin this nakedly vulnerable, I’m ready for him to slash throats again.

I THINK WE’RE ALL READY FOR THIS MAD HATTER ARC TO START WRAPPING UP

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Max: I was checking my watch during most of the Mad Hatter-centric scenes, although the bit where he goes to some kind of Gotham City hallucinogens-only drug dealer was pretty fun.

Kayleigh: The shot of Alice’s corpse hung upside down and drained of blood was where I officially checked out of the Mad Hatter plotline. It made me yearn for the days in Season 1 where Gotham burned through major villains like Scarecrow in, like, two episodes.

Sarah: Yeah violating an already abused girl’s body kind of sucks all the air out of the room.

Max: Tetch isn’t interesting enough to be a season-long threat and he encourages this show’s worst tendencies, I’m hoping he takes a backseat to Court of Owls/the pending mob war.

JIM GORDON TRIPPING BALLS, THIS IS GOOD AS HELL

Max: Gotham loves weird campy nonsense like this and these sequences really carried what was otherwise just an OK episode. Barbara as Gordon’s wisecracking spirit guide was an excellent use of Erin Richards.

Sarah: Barbara accusing Jim of dressing her in slutty outfits was pretty amazing.

Kayleigh: I wish the episode had been entirely dedicated to Gordon’s hallucinations. Most of it was too on the nose (hey guys, did you know Gordon is still in love with Lee???) but I live for weird shit like Penguin as Gordon’s World War I buddy in the trenches, speaking backwards in Lynchian.

Max: Was Baby Bruce wearing an adult mask of his own face?

Sarah: I think he was wearing Jim’s face, and pulling his mom’s pearls out of Jim’s gut is all about guilt. Jim really needs to lighten up.

BABY BRUCE WAYNE AND CATWOMAN ARE ON A CHILD’S DATE

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Max: In the middle of this episode about a plan to drive the entire city insane and Gordon wrestling his inner demons is…a B-plot where Bruce cooks dinner for Selina, who kinda flakes on him.

Sarah: Bruce being miffed that Selina showed up late for a dinner he cooked right after Jim’s Leave It To Beaver trip was an interesting parallel. Otherwise this was kind of pointless.

Kayleigh: Aw, but they’re so cute! Bruce and Selina’s awkward courtship is a much-needed respite from the relentless, queasy darkness of the Mad Hatter plotline. Baby Batman baking a chocolate cake is what I’m here for.

*COCKS GUN* DRINK THE BLOOD WINE

Max: Penguin being extremely incredulous by Court of Owls Lady’s whole deal was really funny. “So you don’t have like…a last name?”

Kayleigh: If “Fuck Yeah Robin Lord Taylor Reacting to Things” isn’t a Tumblr with 10k followers, this is an unjust world.

Sarah: It’s kind of fun to see Penguin playing opposite his regular roll here and being more offended than frightened.

Max: Dylan made a good point on Twitter that it’s really weird how Tetch slips the blood into the wine glasses then tries to force everyone at the party to drink the wine at gunpoint.

SAM RAIMI SPIDER-MAN 2 GHOST DAD TIME

Max: Gordon’s dead dad was a plot point introduced in the pilot we’ve never seen much traction on, I really dug this scene even if it was kind of by-the-numbers dead dad dream stuff.

Kayleigh: I completely forgot Gordon’s dead hero dad was a thing. It’ll be weird next season when they retcon it so it was Thomas Hayden Church in an ugly striped shirt who killed him.

Sarah: Gotham is never subtle about reminding us of key plot points before they become Extremely Relevant.

THE PENGUIN IS HORRIFIED AT THE SIGHT OF THIS HETERO EMBRACE

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Max: Robin Lord Taylor’s gift for physical comedy is a boon to this show.

Sarah: Does this mean that the Kristin doppelganger really is just coincidence? Do all of Gotham’s librarian-types look identical, like a Nurse Joy situation?

Max: I would bet good money this is a long con and it’s the real Kristin back from the dead with Indian Hill superpowers. There’s gotta be a swerve here.

Kayleigh: Isabella acting turned on by Edward’s history of murder is the craziest part of an episode that included a full-on drug trip. I bet she’s a Twilight fan.

Sarah: I feel like her personalized paper doll chain is a sign that Penguin may be saving Ed from HER later this season.

Max: WHAT IF ISABELLA IS GOTHAM’S VERSION OF BOOKWORM?

THE RETURN OF COP GORDON

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Max: It’s just that easy!

Kayleigh: I can’t believe the Gordon family motto on the ring is “Drink Ovaltine.” Of course, with the GCPD decimated by hypnotized Luchadores and Barnes about to HULK OUT, they can’t be too picky.

Sarah: Who forgets their family motto anyway?

Max: To be fair, it’s a pretty crappy motto. I’m sad Jim’s days as a hard-drinking monster hunter are over but this season desperately needs more Jim and Harvey shenanigans.

THE COURT OF OWLS: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Max: Catherine’s faceless cohort in The Court of Owls….possibly Gordon’s dad? Uncle? Clone? Gotham, man!

Kayleigh: This season needs 100% weirdass owl masks. Just go full “ballroom scene in Labyrinth.”

Sarah: Everyone will eventually just wear a mask of their own face. IT’S A METAPHOR GET IT?

Gotham airs Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern on FOX. 

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