Fox’s “Batman-without-Batman” soap opera is the most amazingly weird show on television. For every episode this season, Deadshirt’s own Sarah Register, Kayleigh Hearn and Max Robinson discuss the good, the bad…the beginning? of little Bruce Wayne, skinny Oswald Cobblepot, and Jim Gordon sans ‘stache as they try to find their way in the misery-soaked, work-a-day world of…GOTHAM.
This week’s pretty middle of the road Gotham finds Captain Barnes going mondo kill-crazy, Nygma striking out in the doppleganger girlfriend department, and Poison Ivy generally just bothering everyone.
CAPTAIN BARNES WAS READY FOR HILLARY, DAMN IT.
Max: Michael Chiklis’ entire arc on this show has been super weird, right? We knew basically from the first time he showed up last season he’d end up as a bad guy of some kind, but it’s kind of funny that they limited his insane vigilante murder spree to like four or five guys over an episode and a half.
Sarah: He definitely lasted longer than I thought he would. What a way to go out. too.
Kayleigh: After a season and a half, I still don’t know what we’re supposed to make of Barnes. Was he a father figure to Jim? If so, there wasn’t enough emotion put into their relationship to make their final confrontation tragic. Are we supposed to be sad about his fall from grace, and mourn Gotham City corrupting another soul? Not really, because we never really knew him, and his infection wasn’t even his fault. Sorry, Barnes. Next!
POISON IVY STOLE VINCENT PRICE’S NECKLACE
Sarah: Who walks into a stockpiled vault and steals A necklace?
Max: The Poison Ivy arc continues to be pretty pointless and dumb. That said, some fun chemistry between Geha’s older Ivy and Bruce and Selina in this episode.
Kayleigh: Ivy suddenly having the supervillain ability to make evil plant perfumes feels like a cheat.
Sarah: I completely missed that the man with mummifying powers got a hold of Ivy before she went down the drain, which explains her aging, but I reeeeeeeeally hate the confirmation that she’s still a kid trapped in a voluptuous body that creepy, grown men ogle over.
Kayleigh: There is still no reason why they had to age up and sexify the character this way, even if the show is careful that nothing happens between the mentally childlike Ivy and her older admirers. And if the only other characters she interacts with are still Selina and Bruce…why age her up?
ISABELLA DIED ON HER WAY BACK TO HER HOME PLANET
Sarah: Librarian conventions are lit, y’all. Oswald has no idea.
Max: Chelsea Spack is the Sheryl Lee of Gotham. I was going to say that Isabella being a straight up corpse is a weirdly abrupt end to that particular plotline, but death doesn’t really mean anything on this show, I’m guessing (hoping?) there’s more to it.
Kayleigh: I don’t know why I was surprised to see poor Chelsea Spack in the morgue again since this season has way ramped up the violence against women, but I’m stunned if this is the end of the Isabella arc. The oft-mentioned Vertigo homage felt like it was building up a real mystery (is she a clone, a sister, Kristin back from the dead?), and it feels like a huge anticlimax if they just fridge her.
Sarah: Isabella/Kristin is bound to show up in Ed’s mind again.
GORDON, DON’T FOLLOW YOUR BOSS TO A WAREHOUSE IF YOU THINK HE’S A MURDERER
Max: Gordon tells Bullock he thinks Barnes killed Paulie Pennies and that mob surgeon last episode. Bullock’s like “say whaaaa?”
Sarah: Bullock, a living Joe Biden meme, is a schmuck who comes through when you need him most. Getting Lee to forge a tainted blood test BEFORE he tried to convince the GCPD to hunt down their boss was a good call.
Kayleigh: Jim Gordon being framed for another murder he didn’t commit is like a “Welcome Back!” present from the GCPD.
THE RIDDLER-HOBO MYSTERY HOUR
Max: Nygma basically acting out a point and click CD-ROM adventure in order to figure out how his girlfriend died. “PRESS A TO OFFER BLIND MAN CHANGE”.
Sarah: You had to know that Ed would deduce the murder after visiting the crime scene, but I thought it would be a little more difficult than a homeless guy literally telling him.
SOME CRAZY LOOKING GUYS WITH CROSSBOWS ARE IN THE MIX
Sarah: I thought those guys were holding assault rifles at first, so when Selina put a small chair in front of the door, I was all, WHAT’S THAT GOING TO DO?? Luckily, this is Gotham, and bad guys gotta have a gimmick.
Max: I’ll admit it, I laughed pretty hard at Ivy thinking “a thousand dollars” is a lot of money to get for that fancy necklace she stole after Bruce offers to buy it from her so they can return it.
Kayleigh: Ivy 2.0 is very good at playing a tween who got 13 Going on 30’d, I’ll give her that.
Sarah: Selina constantly knocking her down a peg was a treat. Peak Selina sass this episode.
CAPTAIN BARNES HAS SENT GORDON A LINKEDIN E-VITE…FOR MURDER
Max: BARNES: “Gordon, join me and we can go around killing the guilty”
BARNES: “Now you gotta die, bro”
Sarah: I feel like there’s a little bit of pot and kettle here. Jim totally murdered a guy for the same reasons Barnes is but gets away with it on a technicality since Galavan didn’t exactly stay dead.
Kayleigh: Jim at least feels remorse for killing Galavan, acknowledging that his choice cost him his future with Lee. That’s slightly better than Barnes just straight up becoming a serial killer.
THE PENGUIN HAS COMMISSIONED SOME ORIGINAL FAN ART
Sarah: If Deadshirt had a physical HQ, that painting would be hanging in the foyer.
Max: Oswald having Nygma painted into the background of his mayoral portrait is some Peak Penguin shit.
Kayleigh: “And in this version, Ed, you’re wearing pants.”
Sarah: Oswald’s face looked like Christmas morning when Ed fell into his arms.
MEANWHILE IN ARKHAM ASYLUM
Max: Presumably Barnes is off the table for now and I’ll miss Michael Chiklis’ gigantic, baby-like visage each week on Gotham. He went out on a high note, screaming incoherently while looking like an impossibly gigantic baby.
Kayleigh: So Harvey’s gooooootta be the new Commish, right? Right??
Sarah: The GCPD Captain is basically the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor of Gotham. Anyone filling that position is up for a short term, because we all know there’s only one man for the job.
Gotham airs Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern on FOX.