Fox’s “Batman-without-Batman” soap opera is the most amazingly weird show on television. For every episode this season, Deadshirt’s own Sarah Register, Kayleigh Hearn and Max Robinson discuss the good, the bad…the beginning? of little Bruce Wayne, skinny Oswald Cobblepot, and Jim Gordon sans ‘stache as they try to find their way in the misery-soaked, work-a-day world of…GOTHAM.
The intrepid recap crew of Aw C’mon Gotham returns! After a well deserved mid-season rest, we’re ready to dive back into the high stakes intrigue and sloppy hoagies of Gotham City.
PREVIOUSLY ON GOTHAM: FALCONE’S SON GOT LIT THE FUCK UP
Max: WE OPEN on Mario Calvi nee Falcone’s funeral, where everyone’s pretty bummed out including a watching-from-afar Jim Gordon. Thank god Bullock’s here to administer sandwich wisdom.
Kayleigh: I’m glad we could all gather here together one last time to say, Mario sucked.
Sarah: Let’s hope Lee tossed her mob wife wardrobe and hair teasing products into the casket with him.
OH, YEAH, THE PENGUIN’S STILL THE MAYOR
Max: Friendship with Nygma ended, blonde Nygma is my new friend now.
Kayleigh: Okay but how is crime in Gotham down when there’s like a Bondage Sex Assassin Club on every street?
Sarah: Because the only way to kill a bad guy with a gun is a bad guy with a gun.
SELINA’S MOM, WHAT’S HER DEAL?
Sarah: Ah yes, the modern American family sitting around the dinner table reminiscing about hitting children and stealing shit.
Max: Anyone else get a vague Jennifer Coolidge vibe from Catmom? How much of a screw up do you have to be to get chewed out by a 12 year old?
Kayleigh: Remember when season 1 Selina was constantly owning sadsack Barbara? Utterly dominating flaky older blonde women is her superpower. Also, let “Will Alfred Get Laid?”-Watch begin.
Max: Am I crazy or was it implied that Alfred and Selina’s mom got it on during the sleepover???
G-G-GHOST PEE WEE
Max: I love when Gotham leans on weird gothic horror stuff with Cobblepot, and his dad appearing as a “ghost” — complete with sleeping cap — was delightful.
Kayleigh: ZOINKS! My love for Paul Reubens’s return as a lurking spectre who sings “Happy Birthday” like a creepy orphan in a horror movie could fill a body bag. Cake, anyone?
Sarah: Initially I was fully bought in on Penguin’s dad reappearing as an honest to God ghost, because really, Gotham.
DARK LEE THOMPKINS RISING
Max: I’m pretty troubled by the amount of evil furs Monica Baccarin is wearing in these scenes. I don’t think she’s ditched her mob clothes and hair at all!
Kayleigh: Lee’s starring role in Married to the Mob still feels really weird, like why does she have this touching family relationship with a mob boss who orders hits on people?
Sarah: This whole stint with being engaged to Mario Falcone has felt pretty forced for her character.
JEROME’S GOT A JUGGALO CULT
Max: A bunch of crustpunks and Harley Quinn cosplayers have gathered in a warehouse to watch Season 2 Gotham footage and presumably have a fight club.
Kayleigh: This is how I see Joker cosplayers in real life.
Sarah: Seriously, this scene felt like they gathered together Joker fandoms from seedy internet threads, especially considering ringleader Dwight (David Dastmalchian) already had a stint as the mad clown’s lackey in The Dark Knight. Gotham ain’t subtle.
VICTOR ZSASZ IS SUCH A PRO
Max: Zsasz stopping by Gordon’s apartment to let him know he’s going to try to kill him, no hard feelings, was the best part of the episode.
Kayleigh: The fact that Jim has run into Gotham City’s most diabolical killers so many times by now that they’re like “oh hey man, what’s up? *sunglasses emoji*” before assassination attempts is an amazing detail.
Sarah: Are Zsasz and Jim the new Penguin and Jim?
THE COURT OF OWLS’ STATUE IS PURE SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL
Max: Gotham’s throwin’ immortality and crystal statues that beam maps onto walls at us. I’m excited for that thing to get plugged into a stone altar.
Kayleigh: Can’t wait till Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet show up to steal that bird.
Sarah: Five bucks on Selina’s mom filching it to pay off her why-I-abandoned-my-child debts.
OKAY HIT’S OFF, EVERYONE GO HOME
Max: Carmine Falcone to Lee: Oh, you like being a mobster? Name three of their albums.
Kayleigh: It’s kind of a bummer how predictable this subplot was. I kept waiting for the twist where Lee was the one who called the hit in a fit of rage, instead of so quickly coming to the realization that she loves Jim after all.
Sarah: I hope this doesn’t mean that they’re done with Carmine. He made me realize that there’s such a thing as “a favorite don.”
SURPRISE, DINGDONGS, IT WAS CLAYFACE
Max: So glad Gotham’s extremely specific Clayface who can only turn into medium built caucasian people is back and picking up freelance gigs from Nygma.
Sarah: This really is an episode of Scooby-Doo, unfortunately.
Kayleigh: So is the “every time Hugo Strange’s mutants use their powers they’re one step closer to dying” thing still happening, or nah?
Gotham airs Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern on FOX.