Fox’s “Batman-without-Batman” soap opera is the most amazing weird show on television. For every episode this season, Deadshirt’s own Sarah Register, Kayleigh Hearn and Max Robinson discuss the good, the bad….the beginning? of little Bruce Wayne, skinny Oswald Cobblepot and Jim Gordon sans ‘stache as they try to find their way in the misery-soaked, work-a-day world of…GOTHAM.
Max: Can we appreciate for a second that this episode is called “A Legion of Horribles”? IT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN!
COURT OF OWLS TO HUGO STRANGE: DROP DEAD
Max: So, surprise, Hugo Strange is creating his army of monster babies on the behest of The Court of Owls (the biggest new Batman villains of recent comics history). Some lady in an owl opera mask is breathing down Strange’s neck to find a way to bring people back from the dead with their memories intact. Strange is meanwhile mostly just screwing around with fish DNA.
Sarah: Strange’s love for theatrics and his ability to craft dramatic costumes overnight makes so much more sense now that we know the CoO are backing him.
Kayleigh: I hope we get one maniacal, Frankenstein-ian, “He’s alive! ALLLLIIIIIVE!” scream from Hugo Strange before the season sends. My fanvid set to Oingo Boingo’s “Weird Science” isn’t going to iMovie itself.
HARVEY BULLOCK WOULD LIKE TO GET FIRED NOW PLEASE
Max: Donal Logue exhaustedly recapping the events of the last episode (“the uh suspect was blown up by person or persons unknown”) to a crowd of reporters was so good. Bullock as the acting Captain was really fun here.
Sarah: Harvey slipping into a harsh New York accent while talking to the press is evidence that he got all of his shop talk from reruns of NYPD Blue.
Kayleigh: Harvey’s just sad none of those microphones pointed at his face were beers.
SELINA’S STILL HANGING OUT WITH FIREFLY
Max: Selina tries to reach her old friend Bridgit, who is completely off the deep end and believes she’s a fire goddess. Selina knocks her out in a video game cut scene but is still trapped in the level.
Sarah: Bridgit’s new persona is actually kind of close to how Firefly is often written in comics (like, being really high on yourself even though you’re just a person with a flamethrower) so it really works for me.
Kayleigh: Cultivating god complexes in all your criminally insane super monsters seems like a good way to die ironically at the hands of your creations, but then, I’m not the comic book doctor with the creepy last name.
BRUCE: OH UH HEY ALFRED REMEMBER THAT THING YOU TOLD ME NOT TO DO?
Sarah: Alfred showing genuine concern for the safety of a kid he previously slapped in the face makes me wonder what the fuck his own parents were like.
Max: After Selina doesn’t come back, Bruce goes to Alfred to tell her that uhhhh he fucked up and now she’s stuck in Arkham. Alfred swears britishly but then Lucius Fox serenely comes up with a plan to find Arkham’s Play Doh Monster Factory using a radiometer. Also Jim’s coming with them.
Sarah: Why the hell do they not seek Lucius’s help more often? He immediately knows the answers to questions they’ve been pondering for WEEKS.
Kayleigh: Lucius has been criminally underused this season, but he’s also the kind of ultra-competent character that would resolve the plot too quickly if the writers aren’t careful. I do love how Lucius is always like, “Oh, THIS fucking guy” whenever Nygma speaks.
FISH MOONEY’S BACK BABY AND SHE’S GOT SUPERPOWERS!
Max: Strange revives Fish Mooney, who now has superhuman persuasion powers apparently. More importantly, she’s the only one of Indian Hill subjects who retains her memory post-rebirth which we find out in a hilarious scene where Strange tries to give her a dumb water god codename.
Kayleigh: Strange is very disappointed that Fish won’t play along with his The Wicked + The Divine OC roleplay.
Sarah: B. D. Wong has now played 2 scientists who created creatures with unexpected side effects due to cuttlefish DNA. I wonder what else Indominus Fish can do.
Max: Later, Fish Mooney makes a guard bring her a grilled cheese sandwich.
Sarah: I thought she already possessed the power to force men into making her sandwiches?
Max: Gotham is truly the only show brave enough to give us a scene where two teenage girls fight each other with flamethrowers. This doesn’t work out too well for Selina since Firefly is apparently fireproof now, so Selina is like “uh I’ll be your slave for life!”.
Kayleigh: Hey, my high school sleepovers always had flamethrower fights, I don’t know what’s so weird here.
Sarah: This is equally amazing and sad. I mean, Selina and Ivy are still feeding Bridgit’s pigeons! Hopefully they can all move past, you know, setting each other on fire and just go back to being friends.
HUGO STRANGE/BRUCE WAYNE: TALKIN’ DADS
Max: This was a nice rather understated scene. I totally buy that Hugo Strange really did care for Thomas Wayne as his friend but that he’s too much of a sociopath to let anyone get in the way of his experiments. As much fun as it is to watch B.D. Wong chew scenery, this was a necessary human moment for him.
Sarah: I don’t know, man, his “concern” face while Bruce was talking seemed intentionally overacted. Strange probably cares for Mrs. Peabody too, but you just know she’s going to end up on the wrong side of a locked door with one of their monsters with Strange all, “aw shucks I lost the key” over the intercom.
Kayleigh: Considering that Nygma is auditioning to become Professor Strange’s Mini-Me, Ms. Peabody isn’t long for this world. Hopefully she doesn’t end up in the same cell as the prototype Killer Croc.
Sarah: Also mad props to David Mazouz who is just selling the shit out of being young Bruce Wayne in these recent episodes.
THE GOOD GUYS LOSE!
Max: Strange captures Lucius and Bruce and sends them to be tortured by Nygma in a pretty classic Riddler set up while Gordon gets replaced by the All-New Clayface. I was joking earlier as I watched this episode that Hugo Strange probably had a Gordon clone down there and uh well…pretty much huh? Gotham as a show has a great eye for detail so having “Basil”’s Gordon head be like way too long before the wig’s place on it ruled.
Kayleigh: NICE TO MEET YOU SON OF A BITCH NICE TO ME YOU I’M JIM GORDON
Sarah: I really hope this all boils down to Harvey trapped in a room with two Jims telling him to shoot the other, but he doesn’t get to his gun in time because he won’t put down his pizza.
Gotham airs Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern on FOX.