Arnold Scwarzengger must race against Sinbad to get his kid some dumb toy.
The Deadshirt.Net writing staff and a few of our friends and readers got together on Twitter to watch the 90s Christmas classic(?) Jingle All The Way starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Rita Wilson and Jake “YIPEEEEE” Lloyd! We had a lot of laughs (many of the “you had to be there” variety,) and we can’t recap the whole film for you here, but here are a few of the highlights…
Here is how you play the #DeadshirtDN JINGLE ALL THE WAY Drinking Game: You drink until you forget you’re watching JINGLE ALL THE WAY
— John MaxClane (@DieRobinsonDie) December 20, 2013
Many Twitter pals are currently live tweeting JINGLE ALL THE WAY if you enjoy watching mental degeneration #DeadshirtDN
— FRANKenCENSE Lowery (@kenlowery) December 20, 2013
When Arnold’s wife criticizes him for missing their son’s Karate graduation…
“It wasn’t MY karate class you missed! You missed mine last week! And what about Grandpa’s kung fu?” #deadshirtDN
— Haley Winters (@winterzzzzzzz) December 20, 2013
Our thoughts pretty much any time son Jaime (Jake Lloyd) is on screen…
Someone give this kid an important role in the most anticipated film of all time. #DeadshirtDN — Dr. Christmas Jones (@DylanRoth) December 20, 2013
We all freaked out upon seeing Chris Parnell in this movie. We could post tweets here but it was pretty much all of us going “HEY IT’S CHRIS PARNELL!” all at once.
Jim Belushi plays the ringleader of a gang of rogue brawling Santas.
If I had a dollar for every time a Mall Santa said “pssst, you, come here”, I’d be dead in an alley #DeadshirtDN — Haley Winters (@winterzzzzzzz) December 20, 2013
The screenplay of Jingle All the Way was composed in the then-revolutionary and instantly abandoned no act structure #deadshirtdn — Littlest Gore Angel (@mcgee_gorgo) December 20, 2013
This happened.
No other Christmas movie has a giant muscle man punching a reindeer in the face, then drinking liquor with him. #DeadshirtDN — Big Roy Krampus (@ThatCarlGuy) December 20, 2013
Like, this is not a normal kid’s film http://t.co/LhUf6QWWLD Look at the lust in his eyes, the desire. #DeadshirtDN The caress, the cradle.
— Maarak (@Maarak) December 20, 2013
The climax of the film sees Arnold saving his son while wearing a completely functional TurboMan suit, complete with jetpack.
This is a total deus ex machina that violates the careful realism previously established by Jingle All the way #deadshirtdn — Littlest Gore Angel (@mcgee_gorgo) December 20, 2013
Your son hates you so much he can’t even recognize your face and your accent. #DeadshirtDN
— Big Roy Krampus (@ThatCarlGuy) December 20, 2013
We couldn’t find an image online of exactly what happens here, but Max Robinson explains the crazy pretty well.
SINBAD JUST SHOT HIS FIST OFF AND THEN IT RETURNED TO HIM AND MOVED #deadshirtdn
— John MaxClane (@DieRobinsonDie) December 20, 2013
It wasn’t a fake hand! It shot off, came back and then the fucking fingers moved. #deadshirtdn — John MaxClane (@DieRobinsonDie) December 20, 2013
You wanna get NUTS? C’MON! LET’S GET NUTS! – This movie, to itself. #DeadshirtDN
— Dr. Christmas Jones (@DylanRoth) December 20, 2013
We hope you’ll join us next month for another Deadshirt Date Night! Watch a fun movie, make some jokes, meet some new people!
