We really expected better from you.
Last night members of the Deadshirt.net staff and some of our friends and readers got together on Twitter and watched the 1985 supposed classic, Teen Wolf. We laughed and had a grand old time, but the consensus was “wow, this movie is disappointing.” A lot of the best jokes are of the “you had to be there” variety, but here’s a sampling of our finest Teen Wolf bon mots.
Oh god I just read the Netflix synopsis abort abort you can’t make me watch this #deadshirtDN #teenwolf
— Jen Overstreet (@streetoverjen) January 23, 2014
Here’s that synopsis, for the record: “When a nerdy basketball player starts changing into a werewolf, his condition becomes an asset as he’s unstoppable on the court and with the ladies.” 
REQUIRED ANNOYING 80’S MOVIE FRIEND #deadshirtdn — SOME (@DieRobinsonDie) January 23, 2014
I read that guy’s shirt as Let’s Suck them Dicks. #DeadshirtDN — Fish Bulb Slurry (@ThatCarlGuy) January 23, 2014
Our hero’s sweet ride.
“I’d like to take you… I’ve got a van.” Local teens missing, presumed dead. #DeadShirtDN — #DeadShirtDN Winner (@Koltreg) January 23, 2014
Teen Wolf Scott and his asshole friend Styles repeatedly fail at buying beer.
TEEN WOLF: The story of several teens bothering a local small business owner #deadshirtdn — SOME (@DieRobinsonDie) January 23, 2014
LIQUOR STORE ROBS MAN #DeadshirtDN — Dylan Roth (@DylanRoth) January 23, 2014
@streetoverjen “gentlemen… a puberty metaphor made obvious. The Fox movie we need. A comedy without jokes. a Teen Wolf.” #deadshirtdn — Truman Chipotle (@ModDelusion) January 23, 2014
Styles is an idiot and nothing bad ever happens to him.
The rest of this movie is funeral planning for this kid and the reading of his will. #DeadshirtDN — Fish Bulb Slurry (@ThatCarlGuy) January 23, 2014
Remember when Styles died dancing on the van and his dad banned rock music and dancing in the town? #deadshirtDN — #DeadShirtDN Winner (@Koltreg) January 23, 2014
Scott and invisible love interest Boof are thrown into a closet together during a weird high school party.
“Two Minutes, anything goes, don’t disappoint us” is not a goal invented by women. #DeadshirtDN — Dylan Roth (@DylanRoth) January 23, 2014
Scott’s first wolf transformation begins…
HE’S TURNING INTO CLINT HOWARD #deadshirtdn — SOME (@DieRobinsonDie) January 23, 2014
Scotty’s dad is also a werewolf.
In his human form #DadWolf has the hair of a Playmobile figure #DeadshirtDN — Haley Winters (@winterzzzzzzz) January 23, 2014
You can cut the sexual tension between Scott and his rival (Mark Arnold) with a knife.
LOOK DEEP INTO EACH OTHERS’ EYES #DeadshirtDN
— Jen Overstreet (@streetoverjen) January 23, 2014
HA I RIPPED YOUR SHIRT OFF–oh your body is terrific DAMN IT #DeadshirtDN
— Haley Winters (@winterzzzzzzz) January 23, 2014
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you….just where I have you” STAHHHP IT #DeadshirtDN
— Jen Overstreet (@streetoverjen) January 23, 2014
Scotty becomes much more popular as a werewolf, but soon that’s all anyone wants to see and he can’t be himself.
This movie is a pretty good metaphor for Dave Chappelle’s career #deadshirtdn
— SOME (@DieRobinsonDie) January 23, 2014
We’ll be doing Deadshirt Date Night once a month, so join us next time and have some fun with us!
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