Fox’s “Batman-without-Batman” soap opera is the most amazingly weird show on television. For every episode this season, Deadshirt’s own Sarah Register, Kayleigh Hearn and Max Robinson discuss the good, the bad…the beginning? of little Bruce Wayne, skinny Oswald Cobblepot, and Jim Gordon sans ‘stache as they try to find their way in the misery-soaked, work-a-day world of…GOTHAM.
Max: Crazy Barbara hijinks! The Return of Mr. Freeze! Intrigue! Claw hands! That one lady from Doctor Who! This episode was wild.
GORDON’S TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
Max: Man I want a whole season of Jim as like a PI just shaking dudes down in bars like this. His team up with Barbara “Totally Sane” Keane was fun because it’s basically a Batman/Joker team up complete with a fakeout betrayal.
Sarah: Mostly I just like that Jim is rooming with Harvey for the foreseeable future.
Kayleigh: As soon as Jim said he was doing things “my way” you knew sure as fuck that Sid Vicious beatdown montage was coming.
MEANWHILE, BRUCE IS HAVING FUN AT COMPUTER CAMP
Max: This is definitely an episode of Gotham where teen Bruce Wayne and Alfred access a computer hard drive, get directions to an abandoned cabin and meet a lady with a literal bird claw. Remember what a big deal it was to get The Electrocutioner last season? Now we’ve got superpowers 24/7!
Kayleigh: Lucius Fox has been criminally underused this season. Does he just live in Bruce’s basement now, sitting in the dark and eating Alfred’s sausages?
Sarah: Alfred is being particularly hesitant to help Bruce on this venture. Is he just trying to protect him or does he know something Bruce and Lucius don’t?
WHAMMY DRAWER
Sarah: I need a scene of Harvey practicing nunchaku in his living room STAT.
Max: Bullock straight up has a whole drawer filled with crazy weapons and it’s just like not even a thing. I was amazed there weren’t sandwiches in there. We also got Bullock carrying two six packs of beer and a whole pizza into his apartment, which is such a great little bit of character business. We should just rename this feature “Bullock Rules” tbh.
Sarah: Harvey’s inability to open his own apartment door after seeing a murderer in his hallway because he wouldn’t put down his pizza and beer is so absolutely perfect.
Kayleigh: I think every Bullock scene is being personally dedicated to us now. When Jim opened the Whammy Drawer I half-expected him to pull out a dildo while Bullock gave an exaggerated shrug.
BARBARA IS A KIND OF A BIG DEAL IN THE GOTHAM PSYCHOPATH SCENE
Max: Everyone knows who Barbara is because she murdered a building full of cops that one time.
Kayleigh: I absolutely adored Gotham’s elite, women-only assassination club. (As opposed to the dozens of other assassination clubs in Gotham.) And Michelle Gomez is back as The Lady! Nothing like a visiting Doctor Who actor to remind us that Gotham is maybe one season away from doing time-travel episodes.
Sarah: Barbara ending up curled up on the lap of Tabitha Galavan (with Butch’s “huh” approval) is great and makes the trio my official favorite Gotham family.
THE SECRET ORIGIN OF WAYNE ENTERPRISE’S SHADY SHIT DEPARTMENT
Max: Something that this show has established that I love is that Wayne Enterprises is like TERRIFYINGLY corrupt, even when Thomas Wayne was trying to keep it clean before his murder. Gotham establishes that Wayne Enterprises literally had Thomas and Martha killed because he was trying to stop the straight-up supervillainy they’re inflicting on Gotham City, which is an idea that on paper sounds weird but honestly works really well here. These days, Batman’s mission isn’t about fighting one evil person and avenging his own personal loss so much as it is about fighting against the system that creates crime in Gotham.
So having Bruce’s first real adversary be a faceless corporate evil that preys on innocent people is really inspired and kind of poetic. It’s also just way more interesting than the usual depiction of Wayne Enterprises as an unambiguously kind-hearted corporation or whatever.
Kayleigh: There is at least one genuine “Oh my god, Gotham, what the fuck?” moment per episode, and this week’s prize goes to Karen Jennings slashing throats with her mutated bird hand. Like, what the hell was the point of that experiment? Trying to resurrect the dead, yes, that’s classic mad scientist material, but did Hugo Strange do a line of coke off an Island of Dr. Moreau DVD case and say, “Fuck it, I’m going to give this woman a bird claw”?
HEYYYY IT’S MR. FREEZE
Max: R.I.P. Bird Girl, you’ll be maiming Alfred in Heaven. Thanks for taking one for the team with the whole Freeze thing.
Sarah: Karen’s insight into the Wayne family and her relationship with Thomas almost made her like a sister to Bruce in a way, so basically Bruce watching her get smashed into a thousand pieces is seeing yet another family member die.
Kayleigh: It’ll be a while before Bruce fills up the Batcave with giant pennies and dinosaur statues, but he can start his Sad Souvenirs of Crime collection with Karen’s music box.
*System of a Down voice* AZZZREAAAALLLLL
Max: Oh man not only is James Frain back on Gotham but he only speaks in screaming Christian nonsense. The Order of St. Dumas were a bunch of chumps in the first half of season 2, so I’m way excited to see Galavan rolling around in straight from the comics Azrael armor screaming “WORLDSTAR!” next week.
Sarah: Did Strange bring him back Frankenstein-style or dip him in a Lazarus Pit? I don’t care either way as long as Galavan wields a flaming sword.
Kayleigh: I guess you could say Galavan was…Born Again? Only something as off the wall as Azreal could distract me from the fact we had no Penguin this episode.
R.I.P. Prince
Gotham airs Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern on FOX.
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