“The Ultimate Spin.” (Sony/Columbia)
Deadshirt Date Night is a monthly event on Twitter where the Deadshirt.net staff and friends sync up a movie on Netflix and try to entertain each other. This time, we set our sights upon the first Spider-Man feature film from director Sam Raimi. A lot of the fun was of the “you had to be there” variety, but here are a few choice riffs from the night:
“This, like any story worth telling, is about a girl,” he said, in a media landscape dishearteningly light on female protags. #DeadshirtDN
— Cameron DeOrdio (@StopGrammarTime) April 17, 2014
Peter Parker (not pictured) can’t be on time for the damn bus.
Peter almost missed the bus to “remedial high school for thirty year olds!” #DeadshirtDN
— Mwah! sicilian pizza (@ModDelusion) April 17, 2014
Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) leaps across rooftops with neither style nor grace.
It’s important when jumping long distances to windmill-flail as fast as you can #DeadshirtDN
— Haley Winters (@winterzzzzzzz) April 17, 2014
“With great power yada yada whatevs.” -Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson)
Uncle Ben’s hair: brillo pad in the front, used brillo pad in the back #DeadshirtDN
— Haley Winters (@winterzzzzzzz) April 17, 2014
We all agreed that J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson was the highlight of the movie.
I do like how SPIDER-MAN is all about dudes behind desks trying to fuck over dudes for their creative works #deadshirtdn — Bill DiBlogsio (@DieRobinsonDie) April 17, 2014
Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) is a fashion criminal.
Norman Osborn cackles and throws a pumpkin bomb at Mary Jane, screeching, “CULTURAL APPROPRIATIOOON!” #DeadshirtDN #tumblr
— Cameron DeOrdio (@StopGrammarTime) April 17, 2014
“A word to the not-so-wise about your little girlfriend: do what you need to with her, then broom her fast.” -Norman
WHAT DOES BROOMING MEAN? #DeadshirtDN
— Bill DiBlogsio (@DieRobinsonDie) April 17, 2014
This movie is giving me a lot of mixed messages about how I should respond to the advice of my elders #DeadshirtDN
— Jen Overstreet (@streetoverjen) April 17, 2014
We all enjoyed Willem Dafoe talking to himself.
“instruct him in the matters of loss and pain. mail him your chapbook of high school poetry and Morrissey mixtapes” #DeadshirtDN
— Mwah! sicilian pizza (@ModDelusion) April 17, 2014
Spidey saves MJ a couple times, y’know how it is.
how does Spidey deal with MJ’s screaming while having heightened senses #DeadshirtDN
— Jen Overstreet (@streetoverjen) April 17, 2014
Spider-Man returns Norman Osborn’s body home and ends up taking the rap for his self-inflicted death.
Deleted scene: butler realizes Norman prob died from the glider, tries to tell Harry but he’s on the phone with Seth Rogen #DeadshirtDN
— Sir Duque (@MikeDuquette) April 17, 2014
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