Bob’s Burgers Nutritious and Delicious, Part Two: The Recipes

Why, yes, we'd love one. Thank you. (Official promo image.)

Why, yes, we’d love one. Thank you. (Official promo image.)

This Sunday, the fourth season of Bob’s Burgers comes to a close. This season has been a funny, surprising, and satisfying watch that should be celebrated. And what better way to celebrate the Belcher clan than with snacks? Burgers, more specifically. You see, there’s something I’ve been wanting to try for the past four years. I saw my opportunity, and I’m taking it.

Bob’s Burgers not only has great heart to it, but is dense with jokes. This show gives us deep-cut references to Prince, homages to Broadway musicals and blockbuster movies, and fart jokes. But some of the most delightful jokes on this show come in background gags that change with every episode. See the opening titles, in which the pest control company and the adjacent store change each time. My favorite variations on the pest control truck this season include “Stuart-a-Little-Less Exterminators” from the episode “Mazel-Tina,” and “Murder She Roach Exterminators” from the episode “The Kids Rob a Train.” The best storefront gags include “Don’t Go There: Cautionary Sign Store” from the episode “Seaplane!” and “Johnny Razor’s Totally Normal Candy Store” from the Halloween themed “Fort Night.” Both of these gags are always clever and sometimes tie into the theme of the episode.

But my favorite of the reoccurring sight gags is the third: The Burger of the Day, which takes place in-show and can be seen in the background of most scenes that take place in the dining room of the burger shop. These burgers are exactly what they sound like. They’re the special that day, with Bob usually creating the names, though Louise often helps craft the pun. These are funny, sure, and often rely on well-placed food puns, which are my favorite of all puns. But the real reason I love this gag is that the burgers usually sound really good. Which brings me back around to that thing I’ve been wanting to do, namely, create real burger recipes off the punny Burger of the Day.

I thought it was best to create one vegetarian burger and one that wasn’t. You can see the Onion Ring Around the Rosemary Burger in the background of the first half of “The Kids Run Away” and the Hummus a Tune Burger is featured in the episode “Ambergris.” I feel compelled at this point to mention that I am not in any way, shape, or form a professional chef. If you decide to make these burgers (and you probably should, they’re delicious), you assume all responsibility of the outcome. Have fun, be safe, watch the season finale on Sunday, and enjoy.

The Onion Ring Around the Rosemary Burger

Linda talks to her sister, Gayle, in “The Kids Run Away.” [Source]

A rosemary/garlic patty with beer battered onion rings, mixed greens, Havarti cheese, and Grey Poupon mustard, all on a pretzel bun.

Beer Battered Onion Rings

(Modified from this recipe.)

You will need

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/12 cups beer of your choosing, preferably an ale
1/2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp salt/pepper/sugar
1 large sweet onion
A lot of veggie oil

How to make it

1. Whisk together 1 1/2 cups flour with beer, spices, and sugar. You may have to add a splash or two more of the beer in order to loosen the batter a little. Let rest until bubbles settle.

2. Slice onions. 1/4 of an inch thick worked the best. Separate the slices into rings.

3. Toss rings with remaining 1/2 cup of flour.

4. Pour an inch of veggie oil into a heavy bottomed skillet. (I used a cast iron skillet and it worked great, but if you have one of those mini fry-o-laters, use it.) Heat skillet over medium high heat. After five mins, drop in some bread crumbs. If they sizzle, it’s hot enough. If they don’t, check back every minute until they do. If your oil starts to smoke, turn off heat and start over with new oil.

5. As you need them, dip onion rings in batter so they’re coated completely. Let excess drip off. Carefully drop them into hot oil. Do not overcrowd the pan, this will lower the temperature of the oil and lead to soggy onion rings. I kept to about four rings per batch.

6. Cook about 3 mins, flipping once, or until batter is a golden brown. Remove from oil using tongs, and place on paper towel lined plate. Season with salt and pepper immediately.

7. Give oil time to come back up to temperature between batches. For me, this meant pausing for about a minute before dredging the next batch and dropping them in.

8. Line onion rings on parchment paper lined cookie tray. Place in a 300 degree (F) oven to keep warm.

QUICK SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP JIMMY PESTO'S FACE OVER SATAN'S FACE

QUICK SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP JIMMY PESTO’S FACE OVER SATAN’S FACE

The Patty

You will need

1 egg
2 tsp. of ground rosemary
1 tsp. of garlic salt
A pinch of sea salt, pepper, and oregano
1 lb of ground beef
2 Tbsp. bread crumbs

How to make it

1. Preheat grill or griddle, whichever you want to use.

2. Whisk egg and spices together in small bowl. (Tip: I used a mortar and pestle to crush the rosemary up into a fine powder. This way the flavor is more evenly spread throughout the meat. Use measurements AFTER the rosemary is crushed.)

3. Combine ground beef and egg mixture. Mix in breadcrumbs until mixture binds easily. You might not use all of the two tablespoons, or you may need more.

4. Divide mixture into four even parts. Roll into four equal sized ball and flatten into patties. Now you have four quarter-pound burgers ready for cooking.

5. Place patties on grill or griddle. Cook 6 to 8 mins on each side, or until done to your liking. Just before you pull the patties off the grill, place a slice of Havarti cheese on each one. Once the cheese is melted, remove patty from heat.

Assembly

You will need

4 pretzel buns
4 cooked rosemary/garlic patties, with Havarti cheese
3 beer battered onion rings
A handful of mixed greens
1 spoonful of Grey Poupon

How to make it

1. Cut bun in half. Place rosemary/garlic patty with melted Havarti cheese on the bottom bun. On the bottom part of the top bun, spread mustard.

2. Place mixed greens on top of the patty. Remove onion rings from oven. Place onion rings on top of greens. Replace the top bun.

3. Unhinge your jaw and eat like Gene.

I liked it, so I put several rings on it.

I liked it, so I put several rings on it.

The Hummus a Tune Burger

(Note: The pun insists you listen to good music while making this burger.)

Felix Fischoeder, the landlord’s brother, chats with Linda and Bob in “Ambergris.” [Source]

A vegetarian black bean patty, with feta cheese, homemade garlic hummus, and baby spinach, on an egg-twist roll.

The Hummus

You will need

1 15 oz can of chick peas, rinsed, but with the packing liquid reserved
2 cloves of garlic, roughly chopped
2 Tbsp of tahini
1 Tbsp of olive oil
Lemon juice, salt, and pepper to taste
A food processor

How to make it

1. Drain chick peas, but retain the liquid from the can for later. Rinse chick peas thoroughly. Remove transparent outer shell from each chick pea. This is a time consuming process, I know, but the result is worth it. Without that outer shell, your hummus will be creamier and will taste better. The easiest way to remove it is to squeeze the chick pea gently under cold running water. The shell will slip free of the firm pea, and you can discard it. Don’t worry about crushing the peas, too. They’re going to get pulverized anyways.

2. You really need a food processor to make the hummus creamy. I only have a mini one, but it worked fine and everything fit. Put your chick peas, chopped garlic, tahini (an oil derived from sesame seeds), and lemon juice into the food processor. Pulse 5 to 7 times to bring together.

3. Okay, here comes the less scientific and accurate part of this recipe. It’ll be different each time you do this, so I can’t guarantee that what I’m doing will exactly translate to what you’ll need to do, but the mechanics of it are the same. The amounts will just differ. Once the mixture has been brought together in the food processor, drizzle the olive oil onto the mixture. Let the machine run for about 30 seconds or until you can see the olive oil has worked its way into the chick pea paste and loosened it. From this point on, you’ll have to run on sight and gut feeling.

4. Pour about a tablespoon of the reserved liquid from the can onto the mixture. Pulse 7 to 10 times or until the liquid has worked into the mix and has loosened it. Even if the mix isn’t yet at the right consistency, taste it. Does it need more olive oil? Salt and pepper? Lemon juice? Then add it right in. Once the flavor is right, continue adding the liquid and running the food processor. When I did it, the mixture needed 4 more tablespoons of the liquid and about 35 long pulses to get it smooth and creamy.

5. Taste. Adjust seasoning to liking. Store in a sealed container in a refrigerator once complete.

Do not attempt to eat the food processor.

Do not attempt to eat the food processor.

The Patty

You will need

1 15 oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed
2 Tbsp bread crumbs
1 egg
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
A pinch of red pepper flakes
A pinch of salt and pepper
1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/4 small red or yellow pepper, diced fine
1 jalapeno, diced fine, seeds removed
1 garlic clove, chopped fine
1 small shallot, chopped fine

How to make it

1. Preheat oven to 350(F).

2. In a large bowl, mash the drained and rinsed black beans with a large fork until mushy. Mix spices and egg together. Add egg mixture to black bean paste. Stir to combine. Add bread crumbs until mixture binds easily.

3. Add pepper, jalapeno, garlic, and shallot to black bean mixture. (If you want, pulse the veggies together in a food processor until fine, then add to black beans.) Mix everything together. Fold in feta cheese.

4. Separate mixture into four even sections. Roll these sections into balls, then flatten to form patties. Place on slightly oiled baking sheet.

5. Bake for 10 mins. Flip once half-way through baking, being careful not to rip the patties.

Assembly

You will need

4 egg-twist rolls, or any fresh rolls
4 black bean patties, cooked and warm
3 tbsp of homemade garlic hummus
A handful of baby spinach

How to make it

1. Cut roll in half. (Hamburger style, obviously.)

2. Place black bean patty on bottom half of bun. Spread hummus across the bottom part of top bun. Place handful of baby spinach on top of patty. Replace the top bun.

3. Enjoy. Afterwards, exclaim: “That’s a nice burger, Bobby.”

Cue up an episode - it's time to eat!

Cue up an episode – it’s time to eat!

If you make these burgers and you like them, let us know! Drop a line in the comments, shout your praise at us on Twitter, and like us on Facebook. Read part one of this review here.

Post By Christina Harrington (23 Posts)

Deadshirt Assistant Editor. Writer. MFA. Find her fiction in Crack the Spine and Eunoia Review.

Connect